How can you cope with your husband’s emotions!

You may be totally floored by the way your husband reacts to your separation or divorce. He may come across as heartless and cold. He may do things that seem selfish, such as taking an extravagant vacation, buying a new vehicle, or ignoring the kids.

He may conveniently forget about promising to help support you while you are faced with the bill collectors and empty cupboards. Some can even turn violent, stalking and threatening you, especially if you are the one who initiated the divorce.

One of the most aggravating things that your husband may do is to make the changes that you so desperately wanted during your marriage. Why couldnt he have changed while you were still married?

Divorce jars some men to look in retrospect at their role in the marriage. Without having to fight the pressure from you to change, he can improve himself and his outlook without having his masculinity challenged.

Understanding why men react differently

While your husband s transformation during your separation and divorce can leave you standing there in utter disbelief, you need to realize that men and women react differently in matters of the heart.

This doesn t mean that your husband is not feeling just as hurt and lost as you are, he just deals with the emotions differently.

A lot of men are naturally competitive, and winning in your divorce may be what is most important to him at this time. With this approach, your husband may set his emotions to the side for a while and approach your divorce like a business deal.

Even the man that turns into a sociopath is focused on coming out a winner. If you lived with a controlling husband, he can lash out and be mean when he realizes that you are not under his thumb any longer. Once the divorce becomes a reality, he can still seek control through threats, stalking, and legal maneuvers.

This is an extremely hard situation to deal with, but you have to stay strong and keep your emotional reaction to his antics to yourself. If you cave in or throw up your hands to his demands, he in fact wins.